Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Friday, July 15, 2005

You might be a child of the 80's if...

You wanted to be on Star Search. (Didn't we all?)

·You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like
before his nose fell off. Or even when he had those
freaky eyes in "Thriller" at the end of the video.

·You wore a banana clip or one of those slap on wrist
bands at some point during your youth.

·You wore French rolls on the bottom of your splatter
painted jeans.

·You had slouch socks, and puff painted your own shirt
at least once.

·You owned a doll with 'Xavier Roberts' signed on it's
butt.

·You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."

·You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."

·You can name at least half of the members of the
elite "Brat Pack."

·You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the
Bell for endless hours.

·You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle Rock.

·You know that another name for a keyboard is a
"Synthesizer."

·You'll always hold a special place in your heart for
"Back to the Future."

·You know where to go if you "wanna go where everybody
knows your name."

·You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool. (Was
there an 80's movie she WASN'T in?)

·You know what "psych" means.

·You fell victim to 80's fashion: big hair, crimped,
combed over to the side, and you wore spandex pants.

·You wanted to be a Goonie ("Goonies never say die.")

·You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called
"Prince."

·You ever wore fluorescent—neon clothing.

·You could breakdance, or wished you could.

·You know who Max Headroom is.

·You know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al
Yankovic song.

·You remember when ATARI was a state-of-the-art video
gaming system.

·You own any cassettes or albums.

·You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd
all be living on the moon.

·You remember and/or own any of the Care Bear glass
collection from Pizza Hut.

·"Poltergeist" totally freaked you out.

·You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an
ET lunchbox.

·You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY
female smurf.

·You wanted to communicate with Synergy, or you wanted
green hair like that lead singer of the Misfits (Jem
cartoon).

·You inserted the word "like" into, like, every
sentence.

·You know what a Doozer is (Fraggle Rock).

·You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and
felt stylish.

·You ever had a Swatch Watch.

·You actually spent countless hours trying to perfect
the care-bear stare.

·You had a crush on one of the Coreys (Haim or
Feldman).

·You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.

·You had Wonder Woman or Superman Underoos.

·You have worn a Banana Clip, or knew someone who did.


·You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY
good movie.

·You have heard of "Garbage Pail Kids" (and perhaps
still have a collection of them).

·Extra point You have seen the Garbage Pail Kids TV
show. (Only one episode was aired.)

·You had a crush on Bo Derek.

·Punks actually "shocked" people.

·You wanted to be The Hulk or Rainbow Brite for
Halloween.

·You believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD
the power!"

·You thought that Transformers were more than meets
the eye.

·You know what a "Whammy" is. ("No Whammy, no whammy,
stop!")

·Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.

·Songs by Debbie Gibson still haunt you to this day.

·3 words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound
familiar?

·You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of
MTV.

·You ever owned a pair of "Pop-Wheels"—that handy
little combination of shoe and roller skate that
lasted about a year on the open market.

·You're PO'd that you couldn't really participate in
the 60's, pissed that you were a part of the 70's,
think you wasted too much time doing stupid,
meaningless things in the 80's, and still have no clue
what the 90's or 00's are all about.

·While in high school, you and all your friends
discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the
end of the century and play "1999" by Prince over and
over again.

·You remember when music that was labeled
"alternative" really was.

·You were shocked and horrified at the Challenger
explosion (which you were probably watching in school
at the time).

·You watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that
you're older, you really understand that it would have
been much better had you known about drugs at the
time.

·You've recently horrified yourself by using any one
of the following phrases:
o "When I was younger"
o "When I was your age"
o "You know, back when..."
o "Because I SAID so, that's why"
o "What the HECK is this noise on the radio?"
o "Just can't (fill in the blank) like I used to"

·You can't remember a time when "going out for coffee"
DIDN'T involve 49,000 selections to choose from.

·Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you
actually learned the English language.

·You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in
either a Duran Duran, Madonna, or Cyndi Lauper video.

·At one point during your teenage years, you walked
with a noticeable tilt to one side due to the number
of plastic rings on that arm.

·"Celebration" by Kool & the Gang was one of the hot
new songs when you first heard it at a school dance.

·The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance
fell during "Crazy for You" by Madonna.

·There were at least three people in your school that
voluntarily went by the names of "Skip" "Buffy"
"Muffy" or "Dexter."

·You ever owned one of those embarrassing crimping
irons.

·You used to hold in your head the thought that all
those gold chains on Mr. T actually looked kinda cool
and the thought that Mr. T made millions seemed
rational to you at the time.

·You remember with pain the sad day when the Green
Machine hit the streets and made your old big wheel
quite obsolete.

·You've gotten this far on the list and aren't totally
confused.

·The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over
with laughter.

·You read the "Hot Video Games Player's Secrets" guide
for Mortal Kombat just so you could find the hidden
screen, and play Pong again for old time's sake

·You're starting to believe that maybe 30 isn't so old
after all, and it's those people over 40 you have to
look out for.

·Your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became
something which can only be described by the phrase "I
was experimenting."

·You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton,
but not in the last five years, okay?

·You're starting to get that "why aren't you married
yet" spiel, not just from parents, but now from
friends that are married.

·You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.

·When someone mentions two consecutive days of the
week, the Happy Days theme is stuck in your head for
hours on end.

·You remember "Hey, let's be careful out there."

·You're parents wanted you to attend medical school,
but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all
the babes, anyway.

·You had a crush on Jon Bon Jovi, or knew someone who
did.

·You thought eating Reese's Pieces would attract your
own Alien.

·Your name is Jennifer or Jason.

·You have ever called 867-5309.

·You had a poster of Rob Lowe, Kirk Cameron, or
Michael J. Fox on your wall.

·You held the top score on Pac-Man.

·You owned a t-shirt that said, "I shot J.R." or know
someone who did.

·This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. They
work for me."

·You HAD to have your MTV

·You know what a "burnout" is.

·You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when
Jordache jeans were cool.

·You remember when Madonna was just hitting the scene.


·You remember the original version of Windows:
Macintosh.

·You thought "Weird Science" was a masterpiece.

·You remember any or all of the following: Echo & the
Bunnymen, Cutting Crew, Scritti Politti, or Orchestral
Maneuvers in the Dark.

·Chevy Chase was really funny in those vacation
movies.

·You actually know who Rick Springfield is

·You remember when film critics raved that no movie
could ever possibly get better special effects than
those in the movie TRON.

·You jammed to the Miami Vice theme and thought Jan
Hammer was cool.

·Guys: You remember when a guy piercing his ear was
radical to the max, but did it anyhow.

About Me

My photo

I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does