Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

inspiration


inspiration
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninenty nine percent perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad

effort


effort
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
Hard work never killed anyone, but it is illegal in some places.

pressure


pressure
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond or an average person into a basketcase

compromise


compromise364
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
Let's agree to respect each other's views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

beauty


beauty
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
If you are attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.

do it later


do it later
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
The early worm is for the birds

Sunday, February 26, 2006

quality


quality
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
The race for quality has no finish line, so technically it's more like a death march.

wishes


wishes
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it is really a meteorite hurtling towards the earth which will destroy all life. Then your pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless its death by meteor.

Friday, February 24, 2006

conformity


conformity
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

worth


worth
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
Just because you are necessary doesn't mean you are important.

Figure Skating


Figure Skating
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Winter Constitutional


Winter Constitutional
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Summer Chores


Summer Chores
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Troubling Faults


Troubling Faults
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Working over Mines


Working over Mines
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Hard Labour


Hard Labour
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Gender Bias


Gender Bias
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Climb Every Mountain


Climb Every Mountain
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Pretension


Pretension
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

The downside of being better than everyone else is that others tend to assume you are pretentious
http://www.despair.com

Sacrifice


Sacrifice
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Your role may be thankless, but if you give it your all, you might just bring success to those who outlast you.
http://www.despair.com

Persistence


Persistence
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

It's over man, let her go.
http://www.despair.com

Dare to Slack


Dare to Slack
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

When birds fly in correct formation, they only need expend half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness
http://www.despair.com

Loneliness


Loneliness
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you are not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
http://www.despair.com

Elitism


Elitism
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

It's lonely at the top. But its comforting to look down at people on the bottom.
http://www.despair.com

Indifference


Indifference
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

It takes 43 muscles to frown, and 17 to smile. But it takes no effort at all to sit with a dumb look on your face.
http://www.despair.com

Bitterness


Bitterness
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.

Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world. Because there is nothing the world loves more than really sweet dreams
http://www.despair.com

Dysfunction


Dysfunction
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
http://www.despair.com

Arrogance


Arrogance
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
http://www.despair.com

Mistakes


Mistakes
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
http://www.despair.com

Humiliation


Humiliation
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
http://www.despair.com

Stupidity


Stupidity
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
http://www.despair.com

Power


Power
Originally uploaded by ddbsweasel.
http://www.despair.com

About Me

My photo

I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does 

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