Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Monday, March 24, 2014

DFK on Oscar Pistorius

Anyone making jokes about Oscar Pistorius is just prosthetic !

... She didn’t notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs

... Too many Oscar Pistorius jokes already. Trying to come up with a new one is like taking a shot in the dark

... I hope he can foot the bill. It does not look like he has a leg to stand on.

...Rumour has it that his girlfriend gave him a pair of socks on Valentines Day and he lost it right there and then.

... Oscar clearly misunderstood when his girlfriend told him that on Valentine’s Day he had to take her out

... New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend’s murder……………. Footprints !!!
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About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does